Patience.....

I really need to work on this patience thing. I really thought I had it licked. When Joey was going through the nightmare of addiction I made the mistake of praying for patience. As soon as I did that, the evil one decided to throw everything he could find at me. It was like I showed him the secret weakness I had that he could poke and pry at. Anyway, I thought that going through all that had showed me that worrying, crying, screaming, just generally going nuts and feeling anxious did not change what was going to happen and I just might as well sit back and try to, if not enjoy the ride, at least survive it. I guess it's like any other skill, if you don't use it-you lose it. I need to rediscover that ability. I am not giving myself time to see if one thing is going to work out before I'm veering off that path onto another one. Take a deep breath, Teri. Life is probably not going to end tomorrow...
Lord, help me to slow down and breath in your Spirit. You have no part in anxiety and I don't want to either. Now that I have said that, help me to take it to heart. Not just lip service. I do a lot of lip service. I can talk a good sermon but actually putting it to practice...now, that's another story. I know I am too hard on myself. That's another thing I am trying to work on. So much work...I didn't realize before I started this that I was so messed up. Anyway, I am versed in the Word enough to know the answers, it's the application process that I need to work on. And I also know that I will not achieve the fullness of that until I am in heaven. His Word tells me that...He will not be finished with His good work in me until I am before Him. I just need to slow down. Maybe it would help if I try to list all the good traits...build myself up instead of tearing myself apart. I might try that for the next few posts...